Transcript1a
Agent Scott: Agent Keith Scott, FBI. Stay right where you are!
Mike: Aww, how cute. Just a little guy!
1b
Agent Scott: While you've been laughing, I've confiscated your time machine.
Ash: What? You can't do that!
Agent Scott: I've learned from previous cases to confiscate the time machine before confronting its owner...
Mike: But that's my car!
2a
Agent Scott (showing neualyzer): Don't worry, by the time you remember you have a car, you'll have it back!
2b
//at restaurant, eating lunch
Mike: And that's when he erased our memories.
Chris: But if he erased our memories, how do you remember it?
Mike: I don't know, but I'm telling you the truth!
3a
Chris: And we're just supposed to believe you when you say you had a time machine.
Ash: Why the hell do I have a lottery ticket in my wallet?
3b
Mike: Wait, you used my time machine to buy a lottery ticket yesterday?
Ash (tearing up ticket): Meh, it's a tax on people who are bad at math.
Mike: That ticket was worth $700 million!
Ash: Yeah, right.
4a
Waiter: Would you like to order dessert? Today's special is chocolate pie.
Chris: Oh no...
Mike: Pie, you say? How much is it, three dollars and ... uh... three point ...
4b
Waiter: No, it's $5.49.
Mike: Damn it, he erased my memory of pi!
Chris: Thank God.
