Transcript1 //Mike and Ashley are watching TV. Donald Trump is on TV.
Donald Trump: YOU'RE FIRED!
Interviewer: I don't work for you, I work for Fox News.
Donald Trump: YOU'RE FIRED ANYWAY!
Mike: You know, I haven't conscripted anyone to work in the lab lately.
Ashley: I have a bad feeling about this...
2
Donald Trump: THIS LAB IS BELOW DONALD TRUMP'S STANDARDS. I WON'T WORK WITH A COHERENT 699. IS THAT THE YEAR IT WAS MADE?
Ashley (to Mike): Make. Him. Stop.
Mike: Okay, fine.
3a //in Ashley's Cessna
Donald Trump: YOU CALL THIS A PLANE? MY JET HAS BATHROOMS BIGGER THAN THIS WHOLE THING.
3b //Trump is falling into the ocean, toward a pirate ship
Ashley: Now?
Mike: Already took care of it.
Donald Trump: TRYING TO KILL ME, ARE YOU? YOU CAN'T KILL ME. DONALD TRUMP IS IMMORTAL.
4 //Back at the university (walking outside), Mike is reading from Wikipedia
Mike: "Known as The Dread Pirate Donald, he terrorized the seas until one day when he built a hot air balloon from the ship's sails and disappeared."
5 //A hot air balloon lands on the South Oval
Donald Trump: I'M BACK, LOSERS. YOU THOUGHT DONALD TRUMP COULDN'T AFFORD A TIME MACHINE? DONALD TRUMP HAS EVERYTHING!